had this feeling of emptyness on my self for some time.
the kind of emptyness that signifies rest and relief.
that feeling is now gone.
its substitute is a towering boulder of distress.
actually causing physical discomfort from its unbearable weight.
the pain is indescribable.
but i will try.
.
first it feels like it will never be over.
after some time you give up and stop caring.
you wander around aimlessly trying to find a way to end it.
but the more you try, the harder it is.
you start getting desperate.
then you lose hope.
at that point is when people start noticing that your smile is gone.
so they ask you. are you okay? you will say yes.
they know you are lying. but they dont really care.
so your silence is precious to both. they dont want to hear your problems.
and you dont want to waste your time speaking about them with someone that doesnt care
someone that asks how you are just so they dont really have to know you.
but they can say they tried.
why does it feel like they are fake?
is it in their beautifull eyes?
is it in their fake laugh?
is it in the way they touch you?
i just want to fuck you and then spit on your face as a sign of gratitude.
tie you up and leave the room.
bring your friends to see you in shame.
then we can laugh and tell you we love you.
and then you will now how i feel everytime you let me down.
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